Comments on: People Take on the Traits They Describe in Others

By: James

James — Sat, 08 May 2010 20:52:00 +0000

Yeah I agree with this article. Talking about someone else and how stupid or lazy they are really later places the gossiper into being gossiped.

By: Joe

Joe — Sun, 09 Dec 2007 19:13:12 +0000

I think this whole notion is very true. If you treat others well and talk nicely about others, you too will be viewed in that same light. How could you not be? It makes total sense. If someone is constantly complaining, what does that make that person look like? Nobody likes a complainer. Get over it. Don’t let something insignificant bring you down to that level.

It’s kind of like that saying: “You are what you eat.” But in this case it’s more like: “You are what you say.”

By: K. Loupon

K. Loupon — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 00:52:51 +0000

This research proves why it behooves us to speak nicely of others – because any wrongdoings by us will find a way to come back and bite us in the butt – HARD. It is God’s punishment for badmouthing others. He puts it into the listeners head to see us as we are heard. Simple.

Also, I agree with the statement by Beppo that we tend to see in others the faults we struggle with. It makes sense. It is easier to lash out at others for displaying the fault which is at the forefront of our self-analyzing consciousness. People around me don’t stand a chance! I’ve got lots of corrective comments ready at the tip of my tongue!

By: sulz

sulz — Sat, 02 Dec 2006 15:43:59 +0000

so i’m “perceived to be an extrovert” because i say someone is one? i don’t know… i would think a person’s memory of me is based on my actions and interactions than my compliments/criticisms.

i guess the idea of this research can be applied to very specific areas and contexts of conversation, but that since this was not expounded on, i’m applying this idea to the only example given and cannot see how it works.

By: Jessi

Jessi — Sat, 02 Dec 2006 02:28:38 +0000

i’m sorry but i don’t agree with that psychobabble. i often tell my friend that i envy his extrovert personality, but does that make me an extrovert? i’m one of the most introverted people i know. maybe this could be the case in a certain context, but it cannot possibly be generalised for all contexts of gossiping and badmouthing.

The study didn’t show that the person talking acquires that trait, just that they are *perceived to have it – because of the listeners bad memory and all that.

By: sulz

sulz — Mon, 20 Nov 2006 10:40:18 +0000

but to my understanding, this research is done on a sample of people to make a general conclusion, just as you said. so perhaps i could be the exception to that rule. unlikely, but possible.

well, obviously i’m too absolute to have not come up with what you have in between the lines of that report. ;) i can be quite literal, so when the article says “infer you’re lazy” i take it as “100% lazy and not 90% lazy or 10% lazy”. you’ve pointed out something i’ve never considered before…

likewise, a nice day to you too!

By: Fab

Fab — Mon, 20 Nov 2006 06:07:09 +0000

First, you missed to take into account the fact that this research is done on a sample of people. Thus, what is presented here is valid on the average, and not necessarily on individual, particular, cases. Hopefully, people differ from each other.

Second, you are reasoning in a abslolute fashion, as if things were binary and if you shifted between 100% introversion (0% extraversion) and 100% extroversion (0% introversion). But, if you thought in a relative sense, you may have understood that, by telling your friend he is extroverted, you may become a little less introverted : from 100% introverted (and 0% extroverted), to 90% introverted (and 10% extroverted).

Have a nice day. :)

By: cmd

cmd — Wed, 01 Nov 2006 17:52:13 +0000

It would be interesting to see how this idea would sit with an anthropoligist and especially a philosopher.

By: sulz

sulz — Fri, 27 Oct 2006 10:34:04 +0000

The phenomenon described in this post is similar to the idea that people accuse other people of those things they’re guilty of themselves. (See? I’m a psychobabbler too!)

lol. but i still don’t agree. :)

By: Gwen

Gwen — Fri, 13 Oct 2006 21:51:08 +0000

Some of this research sounds so FLUFFY.

Like I really needed some researchers to tell me that telling guys I think some other girl is hot is an all-round good thing for me to say…. =)